Why do people feel the need to lie and portray themselves to be someone that they're not, and get upset when the person they lied to finds out and wants nothing to do with them? Could it be that they believe that they will never be figured out and that they can hide the truth forever? It's like living in a fantasy world, where whatever you create in your mind magically appears...kind of like when we were kids playing make-believe. But what happens when someone lies about their financial stability and over time things begin to get shut off and repossessed...how do you explain that to someone who you live with after you told them that you had everything under control? I could understand if that person lost his/her job, but when there is no negative change in the income, how do you look someone who is depending on you to be responsible enough to take care of certain matters in the eye, when everything begins to crumble around you both? Is that person wrong for being upset and disappointed, especially when you expect them to pick up everything without fair warning?
In my opinion, I feel that if you are going to have a relationship with someone then everything needs to be put on the table and that way there are no surprises. You should give the other person the opportunity to say 'yes I want to help you work through these tough times' or 'no I just don't think this will work out'. It's not fair to anyone to be put in a situation and have such hopes for a future, when the other person's ducks aren't in a row along with your own. Especially not with today's economy, finances can definitely make or break a lot of situations, and being a human chameleon is definitely not a good way to start a future with anyone.
Not even in friendships...nobody really wants a Yes man/woman...or do they? If you surround yourself with people who enjoy fitting in by ensuring that they agree with everything you say or do, then how do you know if what's going on around you is right or wrong? It's like wearing white pants after Labor Day...if your 'Yes circle' tells you that you look fabulous in them and that you can wear them year round because that's what you want to hear then how do you get a feel for anything else? How do you get the chance to experience change and what do you have to look forward to after Memorial day?? :) Back on topic...human chameleons are not something that you should have cohabitating your life...unless that's your thing...
In my opinion, I feel that if you are going to have a relationship with someone then everything needs to be put on the table and that way there are no surprises. You should give the other person the opportunity to say 'yes I want to help you work through these tough times' or 'no I just don't think this will work out'. It's not fair to anyone to be put in a situation and have such hopes for a future, when the other person's ducks aren't in a row along with your own. Especially not with today's economy, finances can definitely make or break a lot of situations, and being a human chameleon is definitely not a good way to start a future with anyone.
Not even in friendships...nobody really wants a Yes man/woman...or do they? If you surround yourself with people who enjoy fitting in by ensuring that they agree with everything you say or do, then how do you know if what's going on around you is right or wrong? It's like wearing white pants after Labor Day...if your 'Yes circle' tells you that you look fabulous in them and that you can wear them year round because that's what you want to hear then how do you get a feel for anything else? How do you get the chance to experience change and what do you have to look forward to after Memorial day?? :) Back on topic...human chameleons are not something that you should have cohabitating your life...unless that's your thing...
